As a previously sheltered and risk averse person who has come to find a great deal of pleasure in “risky” hobbies, this post really resonated with me. It is so true how taking risks increases your confidence overall!
Do you remember how you started/what convinced you to try? Might help me convince clients who have also had a sheltered and risk-averse life to go out on a limb.
I've written some more detailed thoughts on how a certain kind of "learned naivete" can actually make us more capable in this post, which describes some of how I have started gymnastics as a bloke well into his twenties: https://substack.com/@alexanderjpasha/p-157154886 .
Please check it out if you have the time!
As to how I got there, it started with me using 'low-risk' Yoga as a way to manage my anxiety. Because yoga emphasises the mind-body connection, it also helped me to get a sense of what my body can actually do. Aside from giving me objectively better balance, mobility (— which also means less risk of injury) and better calisthenic strength, that psychological connection and sense of myself in space is something that builds a great deal of confidence in what the human body is capable of.
Psychologically, this was associated with efforts to do away with various limiting beliefs, specifically the kinds of deterministic ideas of "I'll never be able to do x" or, "I guess I must just be bad at y" and also certain ego-busting ideas that stop us from doing things we think would be fun because we worry that people would view it as out of character. There is a healthy kind of not-giving a-shit that comes when anxious people realise that people aren't really paying close attention to them. You can be a bit weird and no one will say anything. Growing to embrace my harmless eccentricities has certainly helped!
Gradually, over a couple of years, I found myself less afraid of doing dangerous stuff, even if I'm demonstrably crap at it. I had several goes at surfing when I recently went down-under. Even though I couldn't grasp it for the life of me, I found being at the mercy of the ocean exhilarating rather than terrifying.
Loved the article, thank you for sending it. This made me laugh: "When they get there, suitably for the sketchy surrounds, they find an addiction."
I think your point about reason only being a part, and maybe a small part, of sentience is an important one, and your practice of doing things without the worry of failure, or the pressure of excellence, is something we could use a bit more of.
i think the "growth mindset" - the knowledge that you can just learn things is a superpower. that my brain is neuroplastic and all i need to do is practice.
Definitely a confidence builder. A belief you can learn and do things increases our sense of agency. And I believe it is this aspect that is the real payback.
I am working a piece about this myself. But yes, how you do anything is how you do everything. An exaggeration of course, but with a grain of truth.
If I had to pick one way to live to teach to my 16 year old self it would be, just do things; plan much less. You know almost nothing. But life will teach you, and teach you faster if you have experiences.
This to many things.The way I over came my fear of public speaking was to join the debating society in high school,The fear of asking a girl out for a date is overcome by asking a lot of girls out for a date,
I wonder if the "culture of fragility" (all harm could be serious and should be avoided at all costs; AND people are very easily harmed) is down or upstream from this. I suspect upstream: anxiety-proneness is probably an additive (or multiplied) result of a perception of threat in the world and our resilience/ability to survive it.
Yeah it's a good question and you probably know better than I. But, either way, we need to change that culture into pretty much the opposite. I just think the bigger problem is that it's tough to convince a mammal to take more risk than it needs to, and in order to survive in today's first world, you really don't need to risk much. At least not physically. Socially, maybe.
As a previously sheltered and risk averse person who has come to find a great deal of pleasure in “risky” hobbies, this post really resonated with me. It is so true how taking risks increases your confidence overall!
Do you remember how you started/what convinced you to try? Might help me convince clients who have also had a sheltered and risk-averse life to go out on a limb.
That's a good question,
I've written some more detailed thoughts on how a certain kind of "learned naivete" can actually make us more capable in this post, which describes some of how I have started gymnastics as a bloke well into his twenties: https://substack.com/@alexanderjpasha/p-157154886 .
Please check it out if you have the time!
As to how I got there, it started with me using 'low-risk' Yoga as a way to manage my anxiety. Because yoga emphasises the mind-body connection, it also helped me to get a sense of what my body can actually do. Aside from giving me objectively better balance, mobility (— which also means less risk of injury) and better calisthenic strength, that psychological connection and sense of myself in space is something that builds a great deal of confidence in what the human body is capable of.
Psychologically, this was associated with efforts to do away with various limiting beliefs, specifically the kinds of deterministic ideas of "I'll never be able to do x" or, "I guess I must just be bad at y" and also certain ego-busting ideas that stop us from doing things we think would be fun because we worry that people would view it as out of character. There is a healthy kind of not-giving a-shit that comes when anxious people realise that people aren't really paying close attention to them. You can be a bit weird and no one will say anything. Growing to embrace my harmless eccentricities has certainly helped!
Gradually, over a couple of years, I found myself less afraid of doing dangerous stuff, even if I'm demonstrably crap at it. I had several goes at surfing when I recently went down-under. Even though I couldn't grasp it for the life of me, I found being at the mercy of the ocean exhilarating rather than terrifying.
Loved the article, thank you for sending it. This made me laugh: "When they get there, suitably for the sketchy surrounds, they find an addiction."
I think your point about reason only being a part, and maybe a small part, of sentience is an important one, and your practice of doing things without the worry of failure, or the pressure of excellence, is something we could use a bit more of.
Thanks again.
i think the "growth mindset" - the knowledge that you can just learn things is a superpower. that my brain is neuroplastic and all i need to do is practice.
Definitely a confidence builder. A belief you can learn and do things increases our sense of agency. And I believe it is this aspect that is the real payback.
Yeah totally. It's something you can take with you anywhere and apply to anything.
I am working a piece about this myself. But yes, how you do anything is how you do everything. An exaggeration of course, but with a grain of truth.
If I had to pick one way to live to teach to my 16 year old self it would be, just do things; plan much less. You know almost nothing. But life will teach you, and teach you faster if you have experiences.
Send it when you are done (maybe just comment the link here; I'll get an alert).
Will do.
Those who wait
https://abysspostcard.substack.com/p/those-who-wait
This to many things.The way I over came my fear of public speaking was to join the debating society in high school,The fear of asking a girl out for a date is overcome by asking a lot of girls out for a date,
I wonder if the "culture of fragility" (all harm could be serious and should be avoided at all costs; AND people are very easily harmed) is down or upstream from this. I suspect upstream: anxiety-proneness is probably an additive (or multiplied) result of a perception of threat in the world and our resilience/ability to survive it.
Yeah it's a good question and you probably know better than I. But, either way, we need to change that culture into pretty much the opposite. I just think the bigger problem is that it's tough to convince a mammal to take more risk than it needs to, and in order to survive in today's first world, you really don't need to risk much. At least not physically. Socially, maybe.