I do think that one of the biggest reasons for problems 1 & 2 at least is that therapy is typically provided as a fairly expensive personal service to fairly materially comfortable people. There's a tacit assumption that "if it was that simple the client would have done that already". There's a tacit assumption that the lives of people who can afford and are willing to undergo therapy as at least roughly ok. And sometimes it's true. But sometimes the client is also in a similar mindset, of "it can't be that simple". And yet it can: for example acquiring practical means of doing certain things, or making things easier or less painful, can go a huge way towards promoting behavioural change, which in turn can do wonders for mental wellbeing.
Yes, there's something to be said for learning to tolerate distress, and therapy can help with this for sure, but the "change what you can change" is as much part of the strategy as "accept/reframe the pain you cannot avoid".
Oh and I LOVE the unattractiveness example!! I don't know if it's complicating a simple problem. It might be more than we're not "allowed" nowadays to consider ourselves physically unattractive, it's seen a problem with self esteem and never a realistic assessment.
Yes totally agree with all of this, esp the part about clients believing "it can't be that simple." A friend pointed out that this inability to see a problem as simple can lead to stuff that is eventually very complicated. Thanks for reading and commenting!
I do think that one of the biggest reasons for problems 1 & 2 at least is that therapy is typically provided as a fairly expensive personal service to fairly materially comfortable people. There's a tacit assumption that "if it was that simple the client would have done that already". There's a tacit assumption that the lives of people who can afford and are willing to undergo therapy as at least roughly ok. And sometimes it's true. But sometimes the client is also in a similar mindset, of "it can't be that simple". And yet it can: for example acquiring practical means of doing certain things, or making things easier or less painful, can go a huge way towards promoting behavioural change, which in turn can do wonders for mental wellbeing.
Yes, there's something to be said for learning to tolerate distress, and therapy can help with this for sure, but the "change what you can change" is as much part of the strategy as "accept/reframe the pain you cannot avoid".
Oh and I LOVE the unattractiveness example!! I don't know if it's complicating a simple problem. It might be more than we're not "allowed" nowadays to consider ourselves physically unattractive, it's seen a problem with self esteem and never a realistic assessment.
Yes totally agree with all of this, esp the part about clients believing "it can't be that simple." A friend pointed out that this inability to see a problem as simple can lead to stuff that is eventually very complicated. Thanks for reading and commenting!